hi i'm back again. hai, i don't know how to start with. my mind is very stressed up. i'm just simply lost and i don't know what to do. i am so frustrated over the DSA to TJC. i wanted not to go enter there by DSA. coz i am not used to the training sessions and i am afraid of being alone as most of my friends- i'm nt sure where are going and most importantly, i may not get into the same sch as xiao. that troubles me a lot. i always hope we can get into the same sch even after secondary. but i'm afraid we can't anymore. i wanted to give up this chance but i jus keep thinking and i think that this is the only jc which can take me to uni. hai, but thee thing is i can't get to see her as often. it's just too hard. some may say that i'm crazy and we should'nt let such a thing to affect our future. but i kept thinkin in my mind. how will my life in Jc be like without her? all i can think of is nothing - empty. though pple say that TJC is a good sch which i also know but can i concentrate there..? thinkin above the issues i mentioned above. my heart went sour. the problem is should i follow my heart or my brain.

if i follow my heart, i would'nt get into TJC. i may get into other jc. and the choices of mine are only Meridian and Tampines. however, i heard that the retain rate in meridian is very high and the study environment is very stressful. i am not sure whether i can take it but what matter most is can they take me to the uni? furthermore, tampines jc which i have heard from some of the teachers and students. it isn't a very good college. in my opinion, i also have the same thought however it is near my house. thus, it is very convenient.

anyway, back to my troubles. many teachers will think that i am wasting a very good oppotunity. but i feel that so what if i enter the sch and i cannot concentrate? would'nt it be better if i can go somewhere i enjoy more and i can study better? hai.. in addition, if i did'nt g for the DSA, i will be wasting my teacher's effort in recommending me there.

what should i do? am i going to TJC for my own sake or for my teachers? i am still pondering over this question and it has really affect me a lot. i am unable to concentrate since the DSA.

right now, i can sense that my heart is really unwilling to go. HOWEVER, my brain jus can't stop thinkin of the chance of studying in such a good college and having a higher chance of enterin the uni. why? why? why? Why am i stressing myself with this.. can someone give me a comment on what should i do? i'm really lost. should i let my feeling overcome my brain. hai..i really don't know. somebody pls save me.